the difference...

age: 55
gender: female

My mind and soul are in conflict about whether I should consider working towards reuniting with my ex-husband of one year.
Neither of us have completely let go.

I have honored and loved my alone-ness this past year, even with the difficulties it's presented, and yet feel a glimmer of hope for a relationship with a man that I love.
How do I tell the difference in what my mind is telling me and what my soul needs?

I have only recently discovered your website and thoroughly enjoy your insight and silent bombs.
Thank you

kristo answers...

Good question. And I mean that, seriously.

How indeed, to know / discern / tell / read / recognize / learn / intuit / decide / understand / find out / guess / discover...(whatever...!) the difference between what the mind says and the soul needs?

I don't care what the situation, the question, the particulars, the mind, the soul, the person or persons involved.... we'd ALL like to know what's truly good for us (i.e. good for the soul) in each and EVERY situation...as opposed to what we were told and brought up to understand was supposed to be good for us.

If you don't agree, then read no further. This website is NOT for you...and I am an agent of the very devil you were brought up to believe in. (Hey...kristo.com is banned in the People's Republic of China!!!!)

Guess what? EVERYBODY's mind and soul are in conflict!
Yes...EVERYBODY's.
Or at least those of us who actually have a mind and have learned to think for ourselves.
And if what we were brought up to believe as good was really such great and true advice...how come we’re never quite so happily in tune with that?

In any case, what you are calling the soul is just another part of your mind.
The part that wants the pain and dilemma of learning to confront that alone-ness to finally end.
And of course, whatever you were taught about the soul or what's "right" doesn't seem to bring any resolution or relief.
Does it?

So here's a maybe not so silent bomb.
Whatever you're finding in that alone-ness is pretty much where the soul (AND the right answer) is to be found.

Whatever anguish you're experiencing in terms of being in a quandry, and wanting this painful, lonely, ambivalent dilemma to end...IS the soul.

Soul doesn't tell us what to do.
Soul doesn't tell us what the right thing is.
Soul doesn't ever say a damned thing.
The so-called “right answer?”
That’s the dubious, learned story called a conscience that's talking between your ears.

Soul says absolutely nothing.
But it sure lets us know that we're alive....
Especially when we're stuck in the conflict of those vastly different voices we've come to identify as our mind and our heart.

Re-uniting with your ex-husband (or not), is not going to get you any closer to your soul...or extinguish the conflicting voices.
It will definitely release the current tension...but that's about it.

Unless you find the soul in and through all of this, you can expect those voices to continue ad infinitum.
And even if they kinda quiet down for awhile...they're just waiting for the next moment in which you (once again) realize that you don't know your own soul (just like all the rest of us!).

And if I had the perfect / correct answer regarding what's best for you to do under the circumstances, that would make me a saint or a guru...which I sure as hell am NOT.

Soul only needs your attention...which, through this unfortunately unbearable current dilemma it actually HAS! And that's the best damn news there is!
It is, in fact, the ONLY really good news...or living "gospel" (as they say) in existence.

Nothing anybody can write (like this here) or that anybody has ever written (like you know where) can even come close to the genuine article.

If and when I ever succeed in reaching through the multiple, stale and crumbly layers of mind and arrive at Soul...I'll let you know....

thank you...
kristo

Dilemma (or Paradox) is the ONLY true evangelist.
The only real messenger of Soul.

I'm glad that you've discovered my website.
I'm grateful that you've written.
I hope that you enjoy the bomb.
And I truly hope that you find a sweet and loving relationship very, very soon...whether it's with your ex, or someone else.
But I am more concerned about all of us finding soul...as opposed to finding some sweet con-so(u)l-ation.
Even at the awful price of pain and separation.
And trust me...coming from a Libran...separation is very much the ultimate in pain and suffering.

Please...
feel free to submit a question for a free answer...
but only questions submitted using this submission page link will be considered for a free answer

I reserve the right
to choose which free requests are answered, and how often these pages are updated.

If you wish to guarantee that I will answer your question, a private reading by kristo is only $25

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